"Character is who you are when no one is watching." I read that quote a couple of years ago and it hit me hard. It was like a light bulb went on inside, and I really got the meaning of the word in every fiber of my being. I was wondering, do you ever wonder what is actually real in this world?
This topic has been on my mind a lot the last couple of years. Sometimes I wonder if anything is real at all. But most of the time I marvel at my experiences with other people, people I thought I knew and that I thought I could trust. I'm certain every adult has been betrayed at some point or another, and I also know some people have been betrayed more deeply and more frequently than others. My heart goes out to each and every one of you that has struggled with this painful issue.
I'm kinda on this quest in the world. I wasn't able to put it into words until recently, but basically, I'm searching for something real and true in this crazy place. I've been left very frustrated in my searching so far. You know, frustrated doesn't cut it. Try sick, depressed, disgusted, bewildered, deeply hurt and angry. I have many personal experiences to speak about and a million others of friends and acquaintances as well, that seem to keep proving to me that human beings, in general, are seriously lacking in character. It seems there are lies covering lies covering cowardice, and I'm not sure anymore if there is anything of substance underneath it all.
My hope is to find someone who knows who they are and tell the truth about it. And avoiding telling the truth counts as a lie in my book, just so we're clear. Is that so difficult to do? Are other people out there desperately looking for something authentic and real as well? Am I all alone in this? I can honestly say that I know who I am when no one is watching, and it is the same as when others are watching me. I can truly say I have developed an excellent character through much adversity, but I am left wondering if that even matters at all in this society any more. Please tell me if I am all alone here.
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